“It is so foggy,” I said under my breath as I got into the taxi early this morning and we started driving towards Beijing. It was so foggy that I couldn’t see anything in front of the car or behind it (this is a common fall occurrence in China and everyone still drives on the back roads, because the major free way is closed. The fog here would cause major shutdowns and school delays in the states, but not here:>) My translator had her window down in the front of the car and the cold morning wind was hitting my face. “I should have worn my coat” I thought to myself. I pulled my sweater tighter around me and looked out the window at the fog surrounding the car. As far as I could see it was white. “Oh God, please don’t forget me,” I pr. before I even knew what was coming out of my mouth. It must have been what was going on inside my heart, because I wasn’t planning on pr. those words, but as soon as they came out of my mouth I knew it was exactly what was on my mind. You see life has felt so foggy lately. My relationship with God has felt rocky, and all my fears and weaknesses seem to be taking over. Sometimes when I go back to the states it happens, because I start to feel like I don’t know who I am anymore. And of course I know that God never forgets me with my head, but this morning telling God my feelings freed me to worship him in my heart. It freed me because I realized how much I long to share all of my feelings with God, how much I long to be satisfied with Him only, and how much I long to Love him with all that I am! And how hard it is when I’m struggling and he feels far away. Almost as soon as I pr. those words a bright light broke through the fog and within five minutes I could see everything around me. The fog began to lift and the sun began to rise in the sky until it was shinning so bright that I could even see blue skies (a rare thing in Beijing because of all the pollution) My pleas turned into praises. God had just shown me a literal demonstration of what he is doing in my life. The fog is going to lift and I am going to see clearly the hand of God working “all things for good” (Romans 8:28) Right now life feels foggy, but only for a time, only for a time! Wow, is God personal or what? It was like God was saying to me “I could never forget you, I will never forget you!” Thank you J. That you never, never, change like shifting shadows that you always give us what we need to keep trusting you” The night before I left to come back to China my younger sister requested of me probably the best thing I’ve ever been asked “Anna, will you pr. for me to keep the faith?” I was so humbled by her request. And I would ask it of you too. Please pr. for me to keep the faith during this “foggy” time and as this “foggy” time lifts.“We don’t yet see things clearly, we’re squinting in a fog, peering through a mist. But it won’t be long before the weather clears and the sun shines bright! We’ll see it all then, see it all as clearly as God sees us, knowing him directly just as he knows us! But for right now, until that completeness, we have three things to do to lead us toward that consummation; Trust steadily in God, hope unswervingly, love extravagantly. And the best of the three is love.” -1 Corinthians 13:12-13 (the Message)
