I’ve been trying to write this update all afternoon. Usually this part of the update just comes to me…but today it isn’t. This week in my B. study we have been talking about when you’ve been “had by Satan” (in other words when you’ve fallen and G. brings you out of it) how much self is gone when you return to C, and how much quicker you give grace to others than you did before. Because, it is so easy to judge someone else until you’ve been had. Judging for me is about as natural and easy as breathing is. It is so easy to talk about people, so easy to assume they mean something they don’t. I’ve realized my judging tendency even more being in a relationship. It is so easy to assume things about Noah that he doesn’t mean or intend. Satan plays on my fears and lies to me. Sometimes, I’m had. I give into the lies and become a not so nice girlfriend. Instead of taking G.’s way and assuming that the person I love so much is thinking about my heart, because he always is. And sometimes I’m even more had in believing the lie that G. doesn’t truly love me, that he cannot truly use the big times I’ve been had for good. In those times I’m crippled in my relationship with G. Our ch. is doing a series on G.’s justice. This Sunday I’ve been asked if I can be interviewed along with another lady about how G. uses ordinary people to bring His justice to others. I feel torn, because at times I feel this overwhelming passion to help orphans and suffering people, and other times I would rather buy the new shirt I don’t really need instead of saving that money, or buying a shirt for someone who really needs it. Despite this, I said yes to being interviewed, because I’m just an ordinary struggling person, who G. chooses to use in small ways. And when I think about that, I feel like I can share on Sunday about how much I want to change…How much I want to feel deeper the things that G. does! How I want to be a patient grace giver, because I began to care so much more about the things of G. after a time when I was HAD. He who promised is Faithful and HE WILL DO IT! (Hebrews 10:23)